It’s tough when things aren’t going your way when one bad experience seems to follow on from the next. You start to feel as if the world is fighting you, that no matter what you do things are just not going to turn out as you’d like. Frustrated, upset and quite often angry the next best thing to do is to moan about the unfairness of life.
And though it may seem unfair and challenging to you, you have a choice of focusing on the problem or seeking the solution. These two very different approaches are what separate those that live the life they desire from those that don’t.
How can you move forward when you are stuck in yesterday’s problem? How can you create new ways of looking at a situation when you have chosen to wallow in the current one?
Becoming solution focused is about taking the issue and saying ‘what can I do to change this? What action is required? Who do I need to speak with? What could I have done differently? It is an opportunity to learn and develop.
Habit often causes us to feel sorry for ourselves when our plans are scuppered. We over indulge in this lethargic ‘whoa is me’ mindset and forget to question why things may have ended up not in our favour. And it’s okay to wallow sometimes, I think there is a part of us that requires it but the trick is to snap out of it quickly and then focus on a new way of doing things. (I highly recommend S.U.M.O by Paul McGee).
Don’t be afraid to ask for help either if the solution isn’t jumping up at you. Sometimes a trusted and respected friend/family member or business associate might be able to provide you with a totally different way of seeing things. There is rarely just one way to get something done!
Remember that being problem focused will continue to lead you into a brick wall; how many times do you need to speak about it? How many times do you need to lick your wounds? Who is still listening (this will be a clear indicator of how long you’ve dragged the problem out for – not one friend in sight!)?
Every problem has a solution; you just need to focus on finding it. It might require external resources and help, it might come from within in a dream, or in a ‘time-out’ moment or even whilst driving your car… whatever way, it will come. So when a challenge is staring you in the face unpack it and seek out the way forward (as oppose to burying your head in the sand or moaning).
Published by YvonneB
A catalyst for change, Yvonne Bignall is a breath of fresh air in the extraordinary way she helps women 50+ to reconnect with life & their innate power through radical self-care, guilt-free!
She supports, encourages, and inspires women to prioritise their health, one bitesize action at a time. Her work is challenging as it navigates through difficult conversations, listening & observing how women’s health issues have been:
❊ Under-resourced &
❊ Swept under the carpet
She helps women to recognise & unpack old scripts that still (sadly enough) tell them that their value derives from their level of caregiving of others, their output. The truth is it is the input, the ability to resource self, which provides women with the energy required to realise their true potential.
Along with her team, she explores the thoughts, behaviour & habits, often born out of guilt, gender expectations, and reinforced narratives, with curiosity (not judgment), discarding the unhelpful, whilst reclaiming innate power through the creation of new patterns, restoring a sense of self, outside of societal expectations. In her opinion, this allows women to:
✔ Develop an elevated level of self-awareness
✔ Build / rebuild their confidence & self-belief
✔ Value all of who they are and invest time in who they want to be at their best
A self-care warrior, an encourager & inspirer, Yvonne is today an award-winning Women’s Health Advocate, Published Author, and an International Presenter. She is also a Radio Show Host and a Podcaster.
Yvonne is focused on building a community of women, www.PermissionToThrive.online, who are ready to reclaim their right to self-care, guilt-free, and who prioritise their health without apology, role-modeling behaviour & habits that inform generations to come of their true value.
She also advocates for self-care over burnout in the workplace, delivering practical webinars in the corporate space. In her own words, “It is time for employees to prioritise their wellbeing. How will they deliver their best work without it?”
One of her favourite quotes comes from Eleanor Brown, ‘Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel’
Connect with Yvonne and,
🌱 Become part of the self-care revolution at Permission to Thrive or
📞 Book a chat to find out about her coaching and corporate services: https://calendly.com/yvonne-b/20min
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2 Comments Add yours
When things are going badly, I think it’s also very important to remember it’s only temporary. The future will almost always be brighter. It’s easy to fall into a pattern of feeling sorry for ourselves, but it’s an unproductive waste of time. Also, there’s always people in situations worse than our own and we should be thankful for what we got.
Everything is temporary… it too shall pass. Wise words Fred, thank you…