It’s tough when things aren’t going your way when one bad experience seems to follow on from the next. You start to feel as if the world is fighting you, that no matter what you do things are just not going to turn out as you’d like. Frustrated, upset and quite often angry the next best thing to do is to moan about the unfairness of life.
And though it may seem unfair and challenging to you, you have a choice of focusing on the problem or seeking the solution. These two very different approaches are what separate those that live the life they desire from those that don’t.
How can you move forward when you are stuck in yesterday’s problem? How can you create new ways of looking at a situation when you have chosen to wallow in the current one?
Becoming solution focused is about taking the issue and saying ‘what can I do to change this? What action is required? Who do I need to speak with? What could I have done differently? It is an opportunity to learn and develop.
Habit often causes us to feel sorry for ourselves when our plans are scuppered. We over indulge in this lethargic ‘whoa is me’ mindset and forget to question why things may have ended up not in our favour. And it’s okay to wallow sometimes, I think there is a part of us that requires it but the trick is to snap out of it quickly and then focus on a new way of doing things. (I highly recommend S.U.M.O by Paul McGee).
Don’t be afraid to ask for help either if the solution isn’t jumping up at you. Sometimes a trusted and respected friend/family member or business associate might be able to provide you with a totally different way of seeing things. There is rarely just one way to get something done!
Remember that being problem focused will continue to lead you into a brick wall; how many times do you need to speak about it? How many times do you need to lick your wounds? Who is still listening (this will be a clear indicator of how long you’ve dragged the problem out for – not one friend in sight!)?
Every problem has a solution; you just need to focus on finding it. It might require external resources and help, it might come from within in a dream, or in a ‘time-out’ moment or even whilst driving your car… whatever way, it will come. So when a challenge is staring you in the face unpack it and seek out the way forward (as oppose to burying your head in the sand or moaning).