How do you see yourself? Self Image is what you think you look like, how you see your personality, what kind of person you think you are, what you believe others think of you, how much you like yourself or you think others like you and the status you feel you have…
Having recently read a range of articles about women and confidence the one thing that stood out was how poorly some of the women viewed themselves in terms of their personality and their external presence. One of the articles stated that women over 32 started to feel less confident about themselves, their bodies, their looks, hair and dress sense and worried about being liked by everyone and were concerned about other people’s opinions of them. Another article stated that women were happiest at 28.
At 46 I feel better about myself now than ever before. I may have been fitter at 32 due to being in the sports industry but I was less confident about who I was and had a need to listen to other people’s opinions and seek their approval. Now I accept that some people will like me, some people I can win over and some people will dislike me no matter what… so why waste my time trying to get those people onside?
What about you? In this image conscious society are you still able to hold your own and be a free spirit or do you feel the pressure to rush out to get the latest night cream, designer dress or a spot of surgery? Do you feel the need to be liked by everyone or do you accept that quality is more important than quantity when it comes to friendship?
What makes women so image conscious; is it the media, the need to fulfil men’s desires or is it a lack of confidence?
Is it the media?
When you blame the media you are externalising the issue and handing them the power to control your feelings. Like it or not the media prints what the public, generally speaking, demands. If the public didn’t read sensationalised stories the media wouldn’t print them. If the public weren’t obsessed with size zero there wouldn’t be magazines with size zero models on every cover, not least because they wouldn’t be bought. The public buys it, consumes it and therefore the media just keeps on providing it!
What about fulfilling men’s needs?
When you feel the need to fulfil someone else’s needs you are in essence dismissing your own… It’s lovely to be with a partner who admires you for the confident woman you are and who does not feel the need to control you by telling you what to wear, how to wear it and when, or even worse, tells you that you need more makeup or cosmetic surgery. Your self-image is yours.
Simple Tips for being more image confident:
- Ageing is part of the process of living so start to enjoy it! Look after yourself by all means but only indulge in the lotions & potions and treatments that YOU desire for yourself
- Your body is a map of your life journey so respect it; treat it well and it will do the rest. Look at your body and learn to love it
- Dress your body in a way that makes you feel comfortable and wonderful because you deserve it!
Love who you are in all your uniqueness. You are a one-off, never to be replicated and you are appreciated.
6 Comments Add yours
what a great positive message! I pretty much agree with everything you said. I believe as we age, we realize that it really doesn’t matter much what people in general (especially strangers) think about you. Hopefully everyone has at least a few close family members and/or friends, and it is natural to care about what they think, but if the relationships are healthy, they should be supporting and nurture positive feelings. Our society’s obsession with being thin, young, beautiful and rich makes me sick. It’s immature, shallow and causes a great deal of pain to many women.
Thanks for your comment! We really do need to get to a place of self acceptance. When we do that what other people think, especially if they are being negative, has far less impact…
I saw something disturbing tonight on the local news that relates to this article. It was a story that discussed the recent trend on YouTube for young girls (and a few guys) who post “Am I Ugly?” videos. It just doesn’t seem healthy or appropriate for young women to seek validation of their looks from complete strangers on YouTube. Furthermore, the trolls and pervs have a field day. It would be much better if we taught our children to love themselves so they had no need to create these videos in the first place. Here’s an example with over three million(!) views to date. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8D9mqqkgH-0
You’re right Jill, extremely disturbing, not only from the point of view that one so young should be concerned about whether people think she is ugly or pretty but posting it on YouTube? I am wondering if her parents are aware of it.
It is absolutely crucial that we teach our children the importance of loving self and realising that other peoples opinions are just that… opinions. They do not make us what or who we are.
The average American woman is 162.9 pounds and wears a size 14. Plus, Americans are growing larger. 62% of females are now categorized as overweight. But in the stores, it is very difficult to find larger sizes. It is easier to find something 5-6-7 than 14. WHY? (I got the stats above from a LA Times article about the size 0 trend – http://is.gd/tYtvis )
I’m no fashion expert but the fashion industry seems to dictate what size you should be or need to be to look how ‘they’ want you to look in their clothes, not how you actually are – that’s my take on it of course and I welcome other points of view. And I say that based on the fact that women’s figures have changed so much but most high street fashion lines have not (although there are more online stores that design clothing lines for size 14+).
Check out the FAQ at http://www.beautypluspower.com/faq/index.asp about clothing.