Why do so many people struggle with expressing their thoughts, their views and their feelings? 
We’ve been taught in employment ‘you are here to do a job and whatever you’re told to do you have to do’, in business ‘the customer is always right’ and in home life ‘You are the mother/father/child and it is expected of you’.
What about you? When do you count? When do you get to let others see things from your side? Being assertive is just that, making your voice heard. It is not an aggressive attack nor is it a passive stance of always saying ‘yes’ or nothing at all.
Assertiveness is:
Expressing your thoughts and beliefs without dismissing the thoughts and beliefs of others
Standing up for your human rights
FACT: Assertiveness is a skill you can learn right now!
A client recently asked me how others would cope when she changed her behaviour from being passive to assertive. I said it is likely they would question this new-found ‘voice’ as it was previously unheard but eventually, providing she continued to express herself in an assertive manner, they would get used to it and in the long run respect her for it and may even seek her advice, knowing that her opinion would be an honest one.
Assertiveness causes you to take ownership of what you express. There is no blame involved; it is the language of those who are willing to take responsibility for their words, actions and feelings.
Top Tips:
- Express what you have to say with ownership. By that I mean use sentences that start with ‘I appreciate how you feel. I feel, I think, I believe, I want, my thoughts are’ etc.
- Keep your body language, tonality and words in sync – relaxed, calm and in control
- Ensure you are on the same level as the other person – if they are sitting, sit down or if they are standing, stand up
- Check your feelings first. If you are in a highly emotional state that is probably not the time to try to be assertive – it may well spill into aggressive behaviour
- Do not go in with the finger of blame; assertive behaviour is a two-way street – your feelings and the other persons
- Be empathetic, really try to see the situation or conversation from the other person’s point of view
- Use assertiveness to say no to requests demonstrating that you know how to prioritise what needs to be done. If you can help someone you will but it will need to be within timescales that work for BOTH of you
- Use assertiveness to be more solution focused – what can be done as oppose to what can’t be
Don’t be a puppet on a string… Be confident and have your say!
Live Blissfully
YvonneB
Like this:
Like Loading...
Related
Published by YvonneB
A catalyst for change, Yvonne Bignall is a breath of fresh air in the extraordinary way she helps women 50+ to reconnect with life & their innate power through radical self-care, guilt-free!
She supports, encourages, and inspires women to prioritise their health, one bitesize action at a time. Her work is challenging as it navigates through difficult conversations, listening & observing how women’s health issues have been:
❊ Undermined
❊ Under-resourced &
❊ Swept under the carpet
She helps women to recognise & unpack old scripts that still (sadly enough) tell them that their value derives from their level of caregiving of others, their output. The truth is it is the input, the ability to resource self, which provides women with the energy required to realise their true potential.
Along with her team, she explores the thoughts, behaviour & habits, often born out of guilt, gender expectations, and reinforced narratives, with curiosity (not judgment), discarding the unhelpful, whilst reclaiming innate power through the creation of new patterns, restoring a sense of self, outside of societal expectations. In her opinion, this allows women to:
✔ Develop an elevated level of self-awareness
✔ Build / rebuild their confidence & self-belief
✔ Value all of who they are and invest time in who they want to be at their best
A self-care warrior, an encourager & inspirer, Yvonne is today an award-winning Women’s Health Advocate, Published Author, and an International Presenter. She is also a Radio Show Host and a Podcaster.
Yvonne is focused on building a community of women, www.PermissionToThrive.online, who are ready to reclaim their right to self-care, guilt-free, and who prioritise their health without apology, role-modeling behaviour & habits that inform generations to come of their true value.
She also advocates for self-care over burnout in the workplace, delivering practical webinars in the corporate space. In her own words, “It is time for employees to prioritise their wellbeing. How will they deliver their best work without it?”
One of her favourite quotes comes from Eleanor Brown, ‘Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel’
Connect with Yvonne and,
🌱 Become part of the self-care revolution at Permission to Thrive or
📞 Book a chat to find out about her coaching and corporate services: https://calendly.com/yvonne-b/20min
View all posts by YvonneB
Being Your Best You 
This site was… how do you say it? Relevant!! Finally I have found something which helped me.
바둑이사이트넷