When it comes to confidence building, here’s what every woman should know. The three ways to abandon self-defeat and learn to believe in yourself involve teaching others how to treat you, acting instead of contemplating, and finding a good coach. Mastering these can permanently empower you and change your life by giving your goals definition and making steps towards them concrete. You’ll also avoid the traps of indecision and self-defeat.
Set Boundaries. Eleanor Roosevelt was on to something when she wrote in her autobiography, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. So much of what we do each day can be gamesmanship by another name. This is an idea that can come naturally to status conscious men, but not necessarily to consensus-building women. This is not to say that you have to forget your femininity. On the contrary, being a woman can come with the perk of a thousand different ways to say, “No.”
Think Less, Do More. You’re reading this now because you’re smart and self-aware. Now don’t overdo it. If you’re looking to learn quickly and build confidence in a matter of days, don’t be afraid to shoot from the hip. If that’s out of the question for the more “err on the side of caution” among you, then nothing beats the one-two combination of a little bit of thought and a whole lot of action. You Are Not What You Intend: You Are What You Do.
Get a Mentor. Getting Together, Breaking Up, Taking that Job, Moving to that Place, Having that Baby, Going to that School, Switching to that Career. Belief to the contrary, no matter the situation, no matter the struggle: before you someone, somewhere, has been there, done that, and bought the T-shirt. Enlist them for your journey. Depending on the type of help you need this can be anyone from someone close to you that you trust to a professional whom you pay to mid-wife your dreams.
Now that you understand confidence building and how to empower yourself, you’ll probably begin your changes in a whole new light. Specifically, you’ll be more aware of others’ efforts to sabotage your hard-won self-esteem, you’ll break that hamster wheel in your head, and learn to lean on someone wiser and perhaps more objective. Now get out there and change.