How often do you revisit past experiences and how much of your time is spent replaying those experiences? If they are good ones and they make you feel happy, that’s great! Too often though these replayed experiences are based on negative situations and letting go of the past starts to feel impossible.
The frequency with which you replay a past experience will affect how you ‘feel’ about it and feelings are very powerful. If you focus on a negative situation that makes you feel fearful, embarrassed or angry not only will you give it energy but every time you experience a similar situation you will automatically tap into those same feelings (even though there is a potential for a totally different outcome). This can be weeks, months and years after that initial experience.
Acknowledging that you ultimately have control over your mind and feelings is crucial. You can start by monitoring your thoughts and by being aware of whether your current feelings are in the ‘here and now’ or based on something you experienced in the past. Awareness is a stepping stone to changing unhelpful patterns.
What if the past has an all-consuming grip?
If you have deep-rooted issues in the past that stop you from living in the now counselling might be an option or possibly hypnotherapy. It is vital you get the right type of support so as a rule of thumb remember that counselling deals with past issues and unravelling them to help bring you to the present and coaching deals with where you are now and where you want to get to in the future.
Living in the past will hold you back from achieving and living today. So much power is given to the past through guilt, being ashamed of something you said or did, the ridicule from others, embarrassment and your pre-installed beliefs from childhood. But learning to let go of them will empower you to live a fuller, fruitful authentic life…
Tips for moving into the present:
- To help loosen those claws from the past you have to practice the art of letting go and that could start with letting go of stuff around your home. It is a truly freeing experience! De-cluttering is about making space for what you want whilst letting go of what is no longer need
- Once you get your head around de-cluttering stuff you can then start focusing on de-cluttering your thoughts and feelings
- Ask yourself why you hold onto a particular thought/feeling/belief. What is it doing for you? Does it add value or does it devalue your capabilities? Are you willing to let go if it is a devaluing source? When are you willing to let it go? How will you feel once you have let it go (picture it, describe it)? Then make the decision to let it go…
- Share that thought or feeling that is holding you back with a person who you trust implicitly and who is not going to be judgemental. This can often bring about a sense of relief and a realisation that what happened is now over, time to move on.
Accept that what was has been. Write it out on a piece of paper, read it and then burn it or throw it away. Physically let it go
Now is the time to live for today and in today…