There is a lot to be said for being comfortable in your own skin and for being true to who you are. These things are far more important than wanting to be everybody’s best friend… because popularity by numbers does not define who you are.
In a recent training session, my group discussed their work relationships. I asked how important it was for them to feel liked by their colleagues. With one exception they all strived to be liked by everyone even if it meant doing tasks/work for them that they didn’t want or need. Is this a good thing? Does it really reflect someone’s like for you because you run around on their behalf? I don’t think so.
We all like the idea of being popular but when it is at the cost of our beliefs and values it doesn’t make sense. Being true to yourself is far more likely to gain you respect even if it doesn’t lift your popularity numbers!
I remember attending a women’s conference some 12-13 years ago and one of the speaker’s touched on the subject of ‘our need to be liked’. She quoted that ‘33% of people you meet will like you straightaway, 33% will be unsure but can be won over, and 33% will dislike you no matter what you do or say (yes, I know that leaves 1% floating, but who’s counting?!) So why spend energy on winning over the 33% when you potentially have 66% with you already?’
That little speech really resonated with me and it came to be a valuable lesson as I went on to start my business.
It’s not the numbers that matter in the ‘like’ table, it is the quality and depth of the relationships you build, the respect you earn and knowing that people like you for you; no hidden agenda.
You are not your popularity, it does not define who you are. It is your ability to live your values and beliefs that matter… Let them shine through!