As children the majority of us, I like to believe, had the care and support of our parents. They loved us, took care of us, helped us to avoid some of live’s pitfalls and if we were really fortunate, they also picked us up and dusted us off when we messed up (yes, mine did a lot of that!)
And then one day we get the urge to ‘do things our way’, to step out and be the decision maker in our lives, to be fully independent; a positive step towards self-discovery. However having spent much of our lives being moulded by teachers, bosses, partners, children, friends and just about every other type of relationship we have experienced, makes becoming independent a bit of a challenge.
All the relationships you have ever had and have, teach you a multitude of lessons, some of which do not serve you well when not thought through fully. For example, when you are hurt or upset by a relationship and you seek ways to externalise all the blame, never taking your share of responsibility. This puts you in a constant victim state. Or when things go awol and you leave it to the other person or party to handle the fallout; reinforcing avoidance behaviours and feelings of not being capable.
So striding out on our own and having to take responsibility is a whole new playing field.
How do you make the transition?
It all starts with acknowledging your own thoughts, your behaviours and the way in which you make decisions. Where once you would wait for others to do things for you or copy others because it was ‘easier’ than having to think, you begin to create beliefs that are truly your own, born from your experiences, interpretation and understanding of the world around you.
And as you learn to take control of the steering wheel of life, confident in your decisions, you become more independent and happy; making choices that you want as oppose to those others want for you, accepting that any wrong turns are your responsibility.
Be Fully Independent
If you learn to live in a non-reliant way you will also learn to take responsibility and stop setting expectations on others then feeling let down when they don’t fulfil them. There will be times when you require the help of others and that is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of maturity. But always remain responsible for the outcomes.
Published by YvonneB
A catalyst for change, Yvonne Bignall is a breath of fresh air in the extraordinary way she helps women 50+ to reconnect with life & their innate power through radical self-care, guilt-free!
She supports, encourages, and inspires women to prioritise their health, one bitesize action at a time. Her work is challenging as it navigates through difficult conversations, listening & observing how women’s health issues have been:
❊ Under-resourced &
❊ Swept under the carpet
She helps women to recognise & unpack old scripts that still (sadly enough) tell them that their value derives from their level of caregiving of others, their output. The truth is it is the input, the ability to resource self, which provides women with the energy required to realise their true potential.
Along with her team, she explores the thoughts, behaviour & habits, often born out of guilt, gender expectations, and reinforced narratives, with curiosity (not judgment), discarding the unhelpful, whilst reclaiming innate power through the creation of new patterns, restoring a sense of self, outside of societal expectations. In her opinion, this allows women to:
✔ Develop an elevated level of self-awareness
✔ Build / rebuild their confidence & self-belief
✔ Value all of who they are and invest time in who they want to be at their best
A self-care warrior, an encourager & inspirer, Yvonne is today an award-winning Women’s Health Advocate, Published Author, and an International Presenter. She is also a Radio Show Host and a Podcaster.
Yvonne is focused on building a community of women, www.PermissionToThrive.online, who are ready to reclaim their right to self-care, guilt-free, and who prioritise their health without apology, role-modeling behaviour & habits that inform generations to come of their true value.
She also advocates for self-care over burnout in the workplace, delivering practical webinars in the corporate space. In her own words, “It is time for employees to prioritise their wellbeing. How will they deliver their best work without it?”
One of her favourite quotes comes from Eleanor Brown, ‘Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel’
Connect with Yvonne and,
🌱 Become part of the self-care revolution at Permission to Thrive or
📞 Book a chat to find out about her coaching and corporate services: https://calendly.com/yvonne-b/20min
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