I’m Right, You’re Wrong; How to reduce conflict and improve relationships Conflict is unavoidable – we are all different and we hold varying points of views. However, it doesn’t have to be the be all and end all of a relationship.
So what can you do to reduce conflict and improve relationships?
Here are 6 steps to consider:
1. Step away from the conflict – if you are in a highly emotional state, be that anger or upset, the chances of being rational are greatly reduced. In stepping away you can ask yourself whether you are hearing what is actually being said versus what you think is being said and is the message you are sending as clear and concise as it could be? 2.
2. Remember, whatever you are feeling are your feelings! You choose whether to feel hurt, angry or upset so when you express your feelings use phrases like ‘When you say xyz I feel….’ Use the ‘I’ expression as oppose to ‘you make me’ – that infers that the other person holds all the power to what goes on with you. 3.
3. Keep focused on the discussion in hand and avoid dredging up the past, seeking out more examples to support how you are feeling. It very rarely helps! 4.
4. Be willing to agree to disagree. There is never one way of seeing a situation and there will be times when, no matter how much a particular outcome makes sense to you, the other person refuses to or cannot see it.
5. If there is a sudden realisation that you are in the wrong… Say so! Not only is it the right thing to do but in future conflicts the other person will know you fight your corner fairly and respect that fact.
6. Whatever the outcome, if the relationship is valuable to you ensure the other person knows the disagreement doesn’t change how important they are to you.
To summarize the 6 key points: Step away from the conflict, Take ownership of your feelings, Stay focused in the now not the past, Be willing to agree to disagree, If you’re wrong, admit it and Ensure that any valuable relationship remains intact by telling the other person how important they are to you.
Happy relationship building! No more I’m right, you’re wrong…