I found myself in a job where I loved the people I worked with, the company and the industry I was in but the role I had been promoted into turned out to be unfulfilling, unchallenging and lacking inspiration. What occurred out of that was complacency and acceptance; I knew I needed to change the situation but overall I thought I was happy.
Then came the wake-up call; 2004, redundancy. I suddenly realised I was 38 with a 17-year old son I had not given enough attention to, exiting yet another broken relationship and going straight into another one. Internally I was in a constant state of tension, butterflies, pounding headaches coming and going; completely out of sync with what I wanted. I felt vulnerable and at times sad, trying to ignore the external mess of my life which was a pure reflection of my inner turmoil. Outwardly, I held it together so no one knew what I was going through and how lost I felt. I was in pain but I stuck a plaster over it, gritted my teeth and hoped for the best. #unmaskingthetruth
Having found a new job yet still feeling the constant bubbling and churning of discomfort inside my stomach, I considered the idea of going into business. It certainly woke me up and got me thinking creatively. And ever so slowly, as I gave time to letting my mind roam free into the unknown, the blinkers I had been wearing for years began to peel away and I could see glimmers of potential for a better life, not the hamster wheel I had been caught up on. I knew I had to move into a new way of being and that meant dealing with the stuff I had carefully placed the plaster over. From having to reconnect with my son to walking away from the relationship I was in, I did what was required one painful task at a time. I took up running; it allowed me the freedom to literally cry out the pain that had been stripping my insides, whilst regaining my focus, helping me to let go of the tension that had gripped me so tightly at times I couldn’t breathe.
Personal development and fitness became a way of life, my daily practice for positive living. And the more I committed to living a positive lifestyle, the more I felt in control and responsible for making life-changing decisions. I became fearless in my attitude by facing my fears and placing my focus on creating the freedom I had been dreaming of.
Like so many of you, I have heard other people’s painful stories, journey’s they had to go through to get to their breakthroughs and they have brought me to tears. In fact, at one point I had convinced myself that, that’s what was needed to have a real breakthrough; the worse possible gut-wrenching pain one could imagine and without it, you couldn’t have a breakthrough. But that was not meant to be my journey. And it doesn’t have to be yours.
My breakthrough was destined to come through my redundancy and a deep sense and desire to unlock my potential, to experience what it is like to live fully; to be the best version of me. No longer a victim but a victor; to make choices and firm decisions. When I realised that, and it took some time, I woke up and decided to live life at a higher level, to play hard, to love unconditionally, to embrace my failures, my pain, and problems knowing they were lessons that would inevitably make me stronger; mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I asked better questions; what is the lesson here? How will this help me? What MUST I do?
Truth is, we get what we tolerate. And so my questions for you are:
- What are you tolerating?
- What pain or fear are you concealing with masks and plasters?
- What’s it going to take for you to make the changes necessary to have the life you desire?
And finally, ARE YOU READY? I can help you… visit YvonneB & follow my hashtags #womenunmasked #unmaskingthetruth
With love & compassion,
Extract from Suck It Up Or Change… If You Want A Better Life You Create It [with the 7F Principles]