Our behaviour is a reflection of our emotions; how we feel. And the feelings come from our thoughts and our environmental experiences.
Would it be fair to say that when you think about something very sad (tsunami, earthquakes) your feelings tend to tune in with the thought? For a lot of people this happens automatically, they don’t even realise that’s what they are doing. That is the power of a thought.
In the same vein if you are focused on something jubilant (a wedding, a holiday or a new career move) the waves of joy you feel and the things you notice tend to be uplifting.
So it is clear that we are the ones who choose how we feel and in turn how we act… or react. The biggest issue with behaviour is that people tend to judge you on the way you act, yet your actions are not who you are, they are what you do. Bad behaviour will reflect poorly on you and so it is important to be aware of the signals you are giving off. Not for one minute would I say you are not to express yourself, however, there is a need to ‘think’ before you act and ensure you are not over-reacting.
Most of us have behaviours that we don’t like and it is often these behaviours we see in others and dislike. And that leads me to another point. When we dislike someone’s behaviour we need to ask ourselves why it is that, that behaviour offends us and to question whether we are equally guilty of displaying that behaviour.
Like most things we are used to doing, many of our behaviours are a habit. We have become set in our ways and act on autopilot. And this is yet another reason to start paying attention to how we are behaving.
We can change our behaviour once we are aware of it. And we become aware of it when we start tuning into how situations and people affect our emotions. It’s rarely an overnight change, it takes consistency. But if it helps us to be the best person we are meant to be… it’s got to be worthwhile right?
Behaviour Change Game
- What behaviours do you have that you’d like to change (Swearing, sarcasm, anger, etc)
2. Create a score card and note each time that behaviour shows up.
3. For each score, you get you have to pay a forfeit (something like contributing 50p or £1 to a charity or local community cause).
4. You must pay the forfeit each and every time. This will heighten your awareness to your behaviour and help you to start kerbing its frequency.
5. And whilst you are breaking the behaviour your charity benefits… A fun win-win way to change your behaviour!