This is a dark and dangerous place to venture but I love a challenge! In reality, we all seem to tread into it from time to time; either where our partners are concerned, the roving eye syndrome or where other women are concerned; a better body, nicer hair, better style, more confident and so forth.
Why? What do we actually gain from being jealous? If your partner has a roving eye, let me ask you, do you ever look at another ‘person’ and admire their beauty, walk, clothes? And when you do, do you instantly think about jumping into bed with them or leaving your partner for them? Well, you might but the chances of you actually doing it are far less likely. So why is it different when your partner does it? Why do we, as women, get so uptight about the roving eye? I confess to enjoying watching fit men go past me in their jogger shorts, or cycling on their bikes. I am happy to admire fitness in men and women as well as beauty. It is our insecurities and self-doubt that bring the darkest thoughts but as those two words state, ‘in’ security and ‘self’ doubt, they belong to us, not our partners!
Let’s face it if you think your partner is doing the dirty and that, that’s the person he/she is, then surely you need to be asking yourself why you are with them – there are always choices!
As for being jealous of other women, this often rears its head when we are in comparison mode. And what is this need to compare? Can’t someone else just be prettier, more stylish, more confident, without us getting out of sorts? Again we have to look at ourselves, our perceptions of a situation.
Jealousy will be around forever of that I am sure and providing you don’t let it rule your life it’s okay to experience it. But as with any negative feeling the longer you wallow in it the more prominent it becomes… again, your choice!
Tips for dealing with jealousy:
- Learn to look and appreciate instead of judge and compare
- Take ownership of your jealousy – it’s yours and it is a turn-off!
- Be aware of your thinking. Too often we let the same old thought run through us until we believe it and we take it as the truth. When you find yourself thinking jealously, acknowledge that’s what you are doing and choose a higher thought pattern (Ex: “She looks great.” “I look at men too”, whatever works for you)
How has jealousy affected your life? Do you find that past bad experiences have left you feeling jealous over the smallest thing?
Other people’s jealousy:
- Are there people in your life that would rather keep you where you are?
- If yes, why do you think that is?
- How are you going to manage those people?
- Is your desire strong enough to keep you on track?