Who Wants To Be A Mythomaniac?
Mythomaniac – A compulsion to embroider the truth, engage in exaggeration, or tell lies.
Who wants to be a mythomaniac? Err, no one I would imagine. Yet having watched the first part of the series on Netflix, I totally understood the ‘breakdown’ the central character experienced. And I hate to say it but there are far too many women out there with similar ‘To-Do Lists’ forcing them to be all things to all people.
If you haven’t seen the series (and I almost bypassed it as I tend not to enjoy dubbed programmes) the opening scenes, written here as a to-do list, go something like this:
- Morning starts with one kid in the marital bed when the clock alarm goes off – mum switches it off & gets up
- Mum wakes up all the kids
- Mum collects dirty plates etc from their rooms
- Mum preps breakfast for everyone (not all the same)
- Mum ensures all kids have what they need for their day (kids range in age, junior school to college age)
- Small interaction with her husband who is preoccupied with his own day
- Mum confirms her Drs App
- Annoyed daughter who can’t find her jacket & expects her mum to know where it is
- Mum gets to the Dr and is told the lumps they tested are not anything to worry about, probably brought on by Warning from the body to do less!
- Mum nearly crashes her car as over tired
- Mum gets to work and paints on a smile (her mask)
- Mum gets a telling off from her boss for doing her job badly or not up to the boss’s standards (bit of a bully character)
- Mum babysits for a friend
- Mum does the housework whilst the baby is resting
- Mum’s ungrateful teenage daughter gives her attitude (demanding & rude)
- Mum prepares food for her husband’s group meeting at home which no one appreciates, and she ends up throwing in the bin
And on and on it goes until she finally gets a moment with her husband and tells him, out of desperation for some attention & respite, about her Dr’s app, stating the lumps are an issue and she is not well. That she even feels compelled to lie in order to be ‘seen’ is awful. And of course, lying is not a way forward.
The real problem is the embedded behaviours & habits that have encouraged her to over-commit, over-schedule and over-work herself into a state of exhaustion and stress whilst pretending all is well because, as a woman, that is what she should do and be able to manage (every other woman does, right?). Appreciation is minimal and expectation is the ruler of the day.
We have come to a moment in time when we need to stop this ‘Superwoman’ behaviour (we are superwomen without doing a million things to kill ourselves) and:
- Increase our Awareness: Become fully aware of the thoughts, behaviours & habits that hinder us by having frank and open conversations about the guilt we feel when we think about putting self-first and how we have taken on an out of date perspective in order to fit in with what society has trained us to think, believe & do.
- Begin to Align: Begin to align what you do with who we are at the centre of us; our core values. We must reveal who we are, firstly to ourselves and then to others. We all have a set of core values we operate from. What we must get to though are our values, not the ones instilled by others or the ones we use to meet other’s expectations.
- Take Relevant Action: Firmly place our self-care on our to-do lists ‘guilt-free’ so that we can operate from a place of energy & good health. It’s about making self-love appointments with self. It’s about realising nothing changes until we do things differently and that there are benefits for all concerned when we do so.
This is as much about self-love as much as it is self-care and it is a MUST, not a nice to do.
How am I operating day to day?
Am I aware of how I prioritise my to-do list?
Do I even make room for me on my to do list?
I’d love to know…